What Does Your ‘More’ Look Like?
From: Relationship Coach Vanessa Long, Newmarket, Ontario.
To: Heart-Centred Purpose Seekers and Super-Busy People Looking for a New Way
What Does Your 'More' Look Like?
11 Steps to Creating a Life You Love
more: determiner & pronoun
1. a greater or additional amount or degree
Well, that's pretty simple isn't it. We all want more, don't we?
More sex… or at least more desire for sex.
More car, more house, more clothes…
The list goes on and on and it's fuelled by the culture we live in and the media we consume. Even driving on the highway is a lesson in more – there are always newer cars and faster cars and prettier cars. We are taught to want more…
In fact, we're taught that to be happy with where we are is a sure-fire way to fall behind. If someone asked you what you were up to and you said something along the lines of 'Nothin' much, just chilling (or relaxing for us in the older crowd)', you would surely be met with a bewildered stare.
We are expected to be busy. We are expected to be striving. We have been taught that there must always be new activity and new stuff to fill up our time and our minds.
And business ALWAYS comes before pleasure.
But let's be honest here… it's exhausting. Depression, overwhelm, anxiety, and burnout (chronic fatigue, adrenal fatigue) are all clues that we've pushed our bodies past their 'more' limit.
So what does your 'more' look like? Is it frazzled and always looking to the next big win?
How does that feel in your body? Who are you trying to impress?
No, really: Who are you trying to impress? Because chances are that there is someone who, deep in your unconscious, is pushing you to be more, do more, and achieve more. There is someone telling you that you aren't quite good enough… yet. So you run harder to get to an imagined finish line.
The truth is, the only finish line we have for sure is the one we cross when we die – when we leave this physical incarnation.
Other than that, you're making it all up.
One of the first steps I complete with my coaching clients is to design a life of passion and purpose that gets them excited. There is no point to setting up boundaries and support systems if they're living a life that they don't want – a life that gives them no juice.
My job is to help them find that juice and then create a life that supports them in living juicy. That's why I've created Discovering Your Passionate Purpose – to start the juicification process.
When it comes down to it, there is nothing wrong with wanting more and better – we just have to come from a place of knowing WHAT we want and WHY we want it.
The saddest thing for me is seeing people pushing themselves harder and harder to get… somewhere. Y'know, when we're running hard but aren't sure why. When we're living the best life we can live but we aren't sure what we want to see instead of what we currently have.
Life is too short to be accidental with it – to treat it haphazardly. We need to be intentional about what we want and then we need to be ruthless in letting go of everything that is not what we want. Life is too short for tolerations.
So here is one idea to start juicing up your life, right now. See if you can really step into it and what impact it has on your life. We have to take care of ourselves and this is a great way to start.
For this exercise, it's best to avoid reading ahead, I encourage you to trust and follow the instructions step-by-step. And for all my Rebels out there, I know who you are and yes, I know that this fills you with an almost uncontrollable urge to read ahead. Just follow the instructions, your life will be so much easier.
1. Take two pieces of paper (or two pages in a file if you're working on a computer).
2. At the top of the first page, write 'My Current Day.'
3. Create a timeline of your typical day. Start with when you wake up and how you wake up (alarm, kids, snuggles, etc.) and then work your way through a 'typical' day. Now, if you're sitting there thinking, "I have no typical day, all my days are different," then just average it out. Create your current, average day. You may want to distinguish between weekdays and weekends.
4. Finish with falling asleep – how and when. This is different for many of you than going to bed – I know that anxiety keeps you awake so include how long you lay in bed wondering when sleep will come.
5. Great! You're halfway there. Now, at the top of the second page write, 'My Ideal Day'.
6. Repeat Steps 3 and 4. Work your way through a day that would make you feel nurtured and pampered and luxurious and joyful and passionate and awesome. When would you wake up? How? How much sleep did you have? What would you do? Right through until you fall easily and effortlessly asleep. What sheets are you sleeping on? What noises, if any, can you hear? What did you have for dinner? Who was with you? Where were you?
THE MORE DETAILS THE BETTER!
7. Now, compare the two Day schedules. Rate on a scale of 0-10 how similar they are and write your score down on the 'Current Day' Schedule. 0 is totally dissimilar and 10 is exactly the same.
8. Choose three things on your Ideal Day Schedule that you would like to bring into your life now. Circle them. Do it quickly. The faster you work the easier it is and the more honest you'll be.
9. Choose one of those three things that you believe would be easiest to incorporate or create in your Current Day Schedule v1.1 (which you're about to create!) and then create a plan to make it happen within the next three days. Schedule it in your day-timer or calendar.
10. After you have completed your Ideal Day item in your Current Day v1.1 (because it's different now, isn't it?!) then do something to celebrate the new life that you are creating. Then let us know all about it over on the Sacred Physicality Facebook page. That way we can celebrate with you! After all, it's way funner to celebrate with friends who support you.
11. Repeat Steps 7-11 until you can feel the difference in your body and see the difference in how you are living.
This is just one technique you can use to start creating your own Vision of a life that is 'more' than you believed was possible.
Test it out and see what a difference just a few small changes can make in your life.
You can have the life of your dreams without burning down the life you have now.
And if you want support on this journey, book one of my complimentary Strategy Sessions now. We'll dig down and get you moving quickly toward a life you love.
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Tagged as: God/ Divine/ Spirit, How Can I Be Happy, Life Purpose, Stress Management, Tools for Life Change, Work-Life Balance